Always there for her pal, Jennifer Lawrence’s best friend, Laura Simpson attended the Academy Awards as her date, helped her stay up when she had an infamous spill, and also wrote a heartfelt essay about the “Hunger Games” starlet, and her Oscars experience.
Appropriately named, “I Went to the Oscars and Nobody Cared,” Simpson posted her essay about being an invisible person next to one of the most famous people in the world on Myspace, writing, “How did I get invited to the 86th Academy Awards, you ask? Well, my best friend took me as her date. I met her seven years ago at an event where we both didn’t know a single person. We hit it off over a mutual respect for Chandler Bing, and we’ve been eating pizza together ever since.”
Describing what it was like walking in amongst barricades thrown up to protect celebs from rioters, and being surrounded by security guards dressed “in head to toe camouflage with gigantic automatic weapons,” Laura wrote, “As we exit the car, my date eats sh*t and uses my freshly done Lauren Conrad up do to break her fall. The crowd goes wild. There are flashbulbs and people circling yet no one asks if I need any help because unless you are famous at the Oscars, you are completely invisible. I have never experienced anything like it. The only time anyone talks to you is if you are in the way of his or her photo.”
Continuing, Laura stated, ” Jessica Biel holds the door open for me and compliments my dress — no human being should be allowed to have her face and body,” adding, “Some guy picks up my purse that had fallen off my seat and I say ‘Thank you… Channing Tatum’ and my dress gets caught on Jennifer Garner and we awkwardly laugh and someone tries to separate us. The lovely pregnant Kerry Washington asks me if she could have the Slim Jim in my purse. Glenn Close shows us her Oscar secret, which is a handmade corset and a dress long enough to hide her comfortable shoes. [Lawrence] is sashaying around the room being crazy fabulous and I am one of maybe two non-famous people there. I kind of just sit there and smile creepily when someone catches me staring — shout out to Penelope Cruz.”
Upon meeting the iconic Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Larua wrote, “[He] smells amazing, like nothing I’ve ever smelled. Eventually we ask what cologne he’s wearing and he tells us, ‘I don’t wear cologne, it’s just my musk I guess.’ I have to choose not to believe him because it would just be unfair to mankind. Angelina is gorgeous and elegant and they are like The Sun and The Moon.”
Characterizing the entire event as “exhausting, overwhelming and surreal,” Simpson finally wrote, “I think what I took most away from the evening was how lovely all the women were. Actresses tend to get a bad reputation but every woman I met was lovely, witty and introduced themselves to me even though I wasn’t famous — even Anne Hathaway.”
